Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
