i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
