I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
