JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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