Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
