i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize