you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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