they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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