I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
