Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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