Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
