After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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