There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
