I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize