be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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