i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize