can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
