So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
