I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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