A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
