I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
