dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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