My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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