nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
