I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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