quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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