yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
