why didn't you poke me back
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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