You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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