I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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