You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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