sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
