yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize