I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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