Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
