It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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