i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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