He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
