i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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