Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
