It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
