hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Come on in and take your pants off
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