Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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