Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Randomize
