Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We have started to decorate penises.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
