Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
