you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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