i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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