dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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