I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
