You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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