You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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