So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize