I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My dick has a subreddit
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