You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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