the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
