I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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