Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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