next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
